Day 4: Children’s Museum
After frying ourselves at the pool the day before, we chose an indoor activity….the Children’s Museum. Apparently Julia and I were either bored or totally enthralled, because we didn’t take many photos this day!!
Of all the exhibits the two favorites were the Police Motorcycle (to Alec’s dismay over the fire truck the also had!) and the store. Between these two exhibits we spent most of the day!
If you missed the first three days in Arizona make sure you read it HERE!
The recent cancer diagnosis for my sister has finally began to sink-in. No longer to I find myself wanting to run away from everything. It’s a nice feeling.
I remember a couple days after I got home from Arizona having a cry fest in the family room with my parents. Sobbing I asked, “When will this become normal? When will this no longer seem so overwhelming? When will we be able to sit and have a conversation without tears?
In fact, just last week I had a really low moment. I had just had a huge fight with my parents and Kelly, was overwhelmed and honestly just done with everything. I don’t think I’ve ever been that low before in my life. I actually went as far as tweeting (and texting my poor friends!) Don’t think anyone would care if I was gone.
Can you say deep depression?!
At the time, it seemed like the possibility of life ever being normal again would never happen.
To be honest, we’re not back to normal. Most likely we never will be the Benson family we were just one month ago. However, we’re healing, beginning to move on and learning how to get on with life again.
I actually do not remember the last time I cried! That for me is a big step!
Another big step is I’m blogging. It has become apparent to me that writing is great therapy for myself. It feels good to write. It gets out feelings that have been pent up and hid inside of me. I feel better after I write. Total (or almost!) relief.
I’m feeling good. I’ve started the process of blogging about my trip to Arizona, so stay tuned for more posts to come!
I think I’m back….I think the old Cori is finally feeling normal again! Well except for this one super hard class I’m taking this quarter….but the end is in sight, c’mon June 10th and Graduation!
All I want to do is run. Run fast and not look back.
I am okay being the coward who runs away from fear.
I am okay not facing it and pretending everything is okay. Really I am.
However, I don’t have that option and can’t run.
I’ve been home from Arizona for 24-hours+ and have known about the cancer now for five days. It still doesn’t feel any easier.
Kelly is out partying with her friends and I cannot stop crying.
Alex is completely okay with it (or so she acts) which makes me feel even more silly for being an emotional wreck.
My mom has (for the most part) stopped crying, at least in front of us. However, I saw my dad cry for the first time in my life yesterday and that broke my heart.
We’re all hurting. We’re all lost. We’re all confused.
We jokingly talk about death, reminding Kelly what we want in her will, etc. It takes the edge off a bit…for the moment we feel normal. Humor is getting us through this.
The love and support that has been outreached to Kelly and my family is mind boggling. Everyone is being so nice, kind and giving.
The phone is ringing off the hook (as it rings now) and I just have to let it ring, I’m not ready to tell the story all over again. I’m not ready to cry again.
It amazes me with all the love and support we’re receiving how I can still feel so depressed and alone. Ask anyone, I am anything but a depressed person. I’m normally outgoing, loud and obnoxious are normal choice adjectives people associate with me. Lately I don’t want to talk to anyone, I want to just lay in bed. That feels good.
*Sigh* the phone just rang again. Thankfully Alex answered it.
Meeting up with my mom and Alex for lunch at our favorite restaurant, then out for some retail therapy after.
I plan on running away again today. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be more ready to face reality.
Midway through my vacation in Arizona I was hit with bad news that my little sister has cancer. This sent me into a downward spiral as I tried to grasp what was going on. Below you’ll see the letter that we sent out to our friends about the cancer and how Kelly is doing.
I’m home now, but feel very behind in the grieving process and very much alone. It’s funny everyone I’ve ever met is reaching out to me and my family and yet I still feel alone. I’m going back to school today for the first time and hopefully that will distract me a bit.
The good news is Kelly is in no immediate danger and we have lots of time to make the right choice.
Thank you to everyone who has called, texted, emailed, facebook’d, tweeted and sent virtual love, support and prayers.
I would like to especially thank Julia and Alec for being great stand-in parents when I received the devastating news so far from home. I really appreciate it.
XOXO, Cori
Email to our friends:
Dear friends,
We received some very difficult news this past week and now that we have a little more information, I wanted you to be aware of what’s happening. First, let me tell you that the Benson family is doing okay and that we are taking a breath and putting together a plan.
Kelly, who is 23, was diagnosed last week with a rare form of cancer. We had our first meeting with her oncologist yesterday and received confirmation of the seriousness of the situation and a mixed prognosis.
The bad news is that her cancer is stage 4 and incurable and because the tumors are extensive and not in a mass, it is inoperable. Chemotherapy is also ineffective against this cancer, so our treatment options are limited.
It’s called metastatic carcinoid cancer. The only place they can find evidence of it is in her liver, but it originated from somewhere else and they can’t seem to find the source.
However, the good news is that this is a slow growing cancer, so we have time. How much time is the focus of our next step. The other good news is that the tumors are incredibly small, so small in fact that they didn’t show up on the radioactive scans. They did however show up on the MRI, but no other cancer could be found which is also good news.
So the bottom line is that we have time. It’s very serious, but not so urgent that we need to move into treatment right away. She’s probably one of the youngest people to ever get diagnosed with this thing since it’s generally a cancer that affects people 55+. (Sounds like Kelly, huh?)
The plan is to run a few more tests to see if we can find the source, and then begin the vigil of benchmarking the changes of the tumors she has. So every couple of months they will rescan her to see if there is growth. After 6 months or so, we’ll be able to get a sense of how slow or aggressive it might be. That will give us a better handle on the amount of time we have to figure out how to treat this.
As of now, we’re going to hold off on any intervention and start looking around the country for the research hot spots. Her biggest chance to beat this is in the world of future drugs, so the slower growing this monster is, the longer we’ll have for a breakthrough, which we fully expect to happen.
The other good news is that Kelly is symptom free. A lot of times, this cancer isn’t detected until people are experiencing the affects of what is called carcinoid syndrome with a lot of unpleasant symptoms. Kelly isn’t experiencing any of this, so we’re thrilled about that. They found these tumors accidentally while removing her gall bladder a few weeks ago. That was a blessing to catch it when we did. Kelly is doing remarkably well and in good spirits. As most of you know, Kelly has a wicked funny sense of humor and has been drawing on it all week. As long as we’re near her, we’re fine.
If you are interested in reading more about metastatic carcinoid cancer, please check out the Carcinoid Cancer Foundation‘s website: http://www.carcinoid.org/.
We welcome your prayers and your positive thoughts and will keep you in the loop as our journey progresses.
Fondest regards,
Linda, Bob, Cori, Kelly & Alex
On Our Way!
On April 3, 2012 we made our way from Seattle to Tuscan! We left behind a dreary rainy Seattle day for the sunshine in Tuscan!
We had a great flight. The highlights being the landing where we hit pretty bad turbulence. The kids thought it was hysterical and were giggling so hard with each jolt and bump we’d encounter. That right there made the trip 
The other highlight of the day was getting to see the rental car Alec had chosen. We could have fit into a mini-van, but he decided a big 18 passenger van would be much more comfortable! It was comfortable, after one long day of playing I was exhausted so on the ride back to the house I took over an ENTIRE ROW and slept the entire trip back! Very convenient….even if we looked ridiculous!
The funniest part as we were loading our luggage into van a lady came running up in a panic asking “is this the shuttle to Phoenix” …. sorry lady, not quite!
Day 1: Swimming & Popsicles
We stayed at Alec’s dad’s house, where we were lucky enough to have a swimming pool to go to! The very first day we all fried after just a couple hours out in the sun swimming!
After swimming, we headed back to the house for a deliciously cold Otter Pop! (Which I love by the way!)
Day 2: Zoo & Cactus’
On our second full day we went to the zoo.
This zoo was not nearly as big as Woodland Park, but the animals were so much CLOSER! You could almost reach out and touch the elephants! It was surreal!
The best exhibit would be the DUCKS. Yes, I said DUCKS. In Arizona they have an entire exhibit just for ducks. YOu know those big mallard – ugly – pooping ducks that litter the beaches and water here in Seattle, apparently they are a novelty in Texas. There was by far the MOST people within this small exhibit. It totally made me laugh, because I’m used to seeing ducks all the time, but never at the zoo!
On the way back to the house (and it was this trip where I took the nap in the back of the van!) we stopped at a cactus national park. It was AMAZINGLY beautiful! We watched a video and then saw the most beautiful sites ever. I didn’t realize Arizona would be that pretty. I expected dead looking brown terrain. However, the cactus’ make it very green and gorgeous! Highly recommend!
I promise tomorrow to write more about what we do! I was behind by three days and just wanted to get pictures up and posted … so there
I’m not sure what is on the agenda for tomorrow, but I’m sure it will involve SUN!!
Clearly the title of one of the classes I’m taking this quarter has NOTHING to do with Math.
At least that is what I told myself when I signed up to take it to fullfill a final graduation requirement.
That’s what I told myself this morning when I talked my friend Aundrea into dropping out of her ecology class to take Math Across Curriculums with me.
NOT going to be math is what we silently chanted as we walked to the classroom.
However, that’s when the panic set in.
Hard.
We walked into the classroom and realized we left the comforting realm of English and entered the world of …. it pains me to even say the words …. MATH.
I quickly learn that a pre-requisite for this class is Calculus.
First off I haven’t taken a math class in years …. like eight … let alone Calculus. Heck, did I even take Calculus? I guess I must have because I was able to enter the class with no problem, but still.
Aundrea and I were panicked. I could feel the blood quickly draining from my body as we sat and waited for the professor to walk in.
The professor who walked in was NOT who I was expecting, instead of being a nerdy mathematician in walked a surfer-dude in flipflops and wind-blown hair. What kind of class was this going to be.
In the end it has to do with graphing (and I’m not talking bar graphs or algebraic math graphing), this is totally different. Never seen it before in my life. Luckily so far it’s pretty straightforward, I will survive.
Lucky for me there is NO exams, homework due weekly and a presentation which we all know I can talk. So if I can just follow along I’ll do fine.
I’ll do fine.
Yes, I will.
I have no choice, June 10th is just around the corner…
Tomorrow will mark one month since I last blogged. What the heck is wrong with me? Well lots, but that’s not what’s up…hehehe!
Back on February 8th I wrote about how I was drowning in school. At that point I was not quite at midterms in a crazy-hectic quarter of 20 credits and a part-time internship. I don’t know how I did it, but somehow I accomplished it all and got this ….
Yes, somehow I ended the quarter with a 3.70 GPA! I’m so proud and happy!
Guess What? I will graduate after Spring quarter! YES, my graduation date is set for June 10, 2012. It’s only been 9-years, three university’s, hundreds of credits, lots of classes and debt that I don’t even want to think about! Cori’s graduating!! So stay tuned for more information to come!
Next quarter, I’m back to a “normal” schedule of only 13 credits!
I’m so happy I successfully completed my hideous winter quarter and spring is looking bright!
It’s no secret that I, Cori Benson, am bloodless.
My body contains zero, zip, nada blood.
Most people think I’m joking, but really I’m not or rather I’m not 100% bloodless, but darn close to it.
It’s hereditary. My younger sister is even worse then I am, she has to get her hemadacrit (blood count) checked weekly, because her “normal” is about 19-20 – average for a “healthy” individual is mid-30s. Having a blood count less then 20 is basically considered dead…or close to comotose. It doesn’t seem to affect Kelly, instead she just gets a little bit more tired but on numerous occassions has gone ahead and ran the mile at school or gone along with her daily grind.
Then we have my sister Alex, who doesn’t like to believe she’s bloodless. She is a little goody-two-shoes (sp!) who wants to donate blood …. often. She comes in and they immediatly have to send her away because her iron and blood levels are too low. And yet, she continues to go month after month.
I on the other hand have decided to embrace my bloodless body and savour any and all blood I have. No donating to the blood bank or extensive blood draws. I prefer to keep as much of my blood inside of me as possible.
We’re bloodless. What can I say?
My favorite is when I have to get my blood drawn – which I had to have done yesterday. I always warn the tech of my lack of blood and that it is nearly impossible for them to remove blood. They always laugh and tell me “I doubt that’s true” or “I’m really good, I’ll have no problem.” I smile and wait for them to learn their fate, that they truly aren’t a pro at blood drawing!
I have to give props to the lady who drew my blood she did a great job inserting the needle, the first couple of times, didn’t even hurt!
She poked me first in my left elbow, nothing. I always tell them to use my right arm, you’ll have a better chance of getting blood.
She “poked” around looking for a vein to puncture for a good 5-minutes, nothing.
She then tried re-inserting the needle into my left lower arm and after another 5-minutes of “poking” around she once again gave up.
Luckily for her, third times a charm. This time she moved over to my right hand and after slapping the top of my hand numerous times to “wake-up” my veins, she inserted it again. She once again had to do some digging, but eventually found a vein to get blood from.
She may have finally found blood, but it took almost 10-minutes to get a syrange full for blood.
Once my blood was finally drawn I told her, I thought I’d make a great extra credit assignment for someone learning to draw blood. If they are able to get blood out of me, they get bonus points?
Good idea? What do you think?
Last month the Seattle area was hit hard by snowstorm after snowstorm and windstorm after windstorm.
Each winter we tend to get 6” of snow, TOTAL, all season long. In this one storm we had 12” of snow. It wasn’t nearly as impressive as our snowstorm in 2008, but close!
In addition to the snowstorm, we had a massive windstorm that knocked out power to us for nearly 24-hours, but much of the area was out for over a week. Even with out power and a foot of snow, I stayed warm and toasty. I feel very very lucky that my mom panicked as we approached the millennium and insisted we buy a generator and have it wired into the house. However, we hadn’t used our generator in a couple of years, so it took some work for my parents to get it running. They were MY HEROES as they got the generator started so we could stay warm!
Want to know a secret Cori fact? Most of these photos were actually taken by me wearing flip-flops. Yes, I’m crazy and YES I’m dreaming of summer!
After fun in the snow, there’s nothing like snuggling up next to the fire; especially when you are without power and trying to stay warm!
Thanks goodness for our generator and fire place my family stayed nice and warm during Snowpocolypse 2012!
This post is part of Poetic Winter: a photography challenge hosted by Kristi {Live and Love Outloud}, Alicia {Project Alicia}, Rebecca {Bumbles of Light} and their newest co-host, Faith {Sweet Violet} 
This post is also part of Wordless Wednesday on the following blogs:
Parenting For Dummies & Seven Clown Circus
And Then, She {Snapped}
Live and Love…Out Loud
Crazy About My Baybah!
Carrie with Children
Project Alicia
20 Credits, an internship requiring 12-14 hours a week and *sorta* working.
I’m drowning.
June, where are thou?
Can anyone else relate?
Back to homework I go…..
