From the Idea Bank Prompt #353
There is one memory in my life that has always stuck out as my most vivid memory. The odd thing is, it’s a memory from when I was just barely three years old. However, this memory (at that time) was so traumatic, it has actually caused me years of anxiety and stress. I’ll preface by saying, looking back now, it’s silly, I wasn’t in any harm at all, but when you’re only three-years-old it sure felt like it!
Okay…now back in time we go to early morning of September 13, 1988….
I woke up, just as I did every morning. Climbed out of bed and wandered into my parents room. Upon entering the room, I realized that my parents weren’t in there – no big deal, they must be downstairs already. I remember wandering downstairs and into the kitchen. To my shock, nobody was there. I remember walking out the garage and the car was gone. The most vivid part of the memory I have is walking back towards the stairs, and climbing the first step thinking “they’ve left me, they don’t want me anymore”. I was scared out of my mind.
I wandered back up the stairs and was surprised to be met at the top by some family friends. Turns out, my mom had gone into labor the night before, and delivered my little sister Kelly after I’d gone to bed. My parents didn’t want to wake me, so they had their friends come stay at the house. Instead of staying in my parents room, they stayed in our guest room – thus me not noticing them until that moment. I survived and lived to tell the story, and was “lucky” to get to meet Baby Kelly a few hours later!
Obviously 22 years have now gone by, but I’m pretty sure that initial “abandonment” feeling has left a strong impression on me. My whole life, while I know with out a doubt my parents love me and would never everabandon me, I’ve still suffered from extreme anxiety and stress. I’ve learned to work through it and am getting to the point of being able to say I’m “over it”. But the memory is still there. The pain is still there. I still think about those moments a lot. The memory still haunts me from time to time. Not to mention my mom, who for years felt absolutely awful about the pain it caused me. I wouldn’t trade my parents for anything…but I’d definitely be willing to trade that memory for another one!